Where’s the beef?
October 22nd, 2007 by SuzanneAs you probably know by now, we drove down to Calgary last week for our ultrasound. On the way back, we stopped at an unnamed (to protect the guilty) fast food “restaurant” for lunch. We don’t eat out much, but we have not had the best fast food experiences here in Canada for one reason or another. Don’t get me wrong, there is a plethora of wonderful things about Canada. Fast food is just not one of them. For example, KFC does not serve biscuits or white gravy here in Canada. WHAAAT? They might as well not serve chicken either! Biscuits go with fried chicken like milk goes with cookies. Actually, the only way to have white gravy here is to make it yourself. That’s not too surprising, though, since white gravy is a typically southern thing. The fast food here is usually fine, but we just do not get what we ordered. So, we have learned to check our order before we drive away so that we can ask for whatever is missing or have them take the mayo and onions off of Joe’s burger…again.
This particular visit for fast food proved to be another check mark on the list of “You Got My Order Wrong…Again.” I ordered a deli-type club sandwich instead of a burger so that I could partake of a delicious ice cream treat. But it turned out to be WAY less fattening than a burger and even a regular sandwich. See why:
Looks promising, yes? I took 2 bites before I realized something was missing:
I asked for no mayo, so that was supposed to be missing. But do you notice something else that’s missing. Uh, how about the turkey, bacon, and ham! No, they are not hiding under the lettuce and tomato. They were hiding so well that they couldn’t find them to put on my “club” sandwich. This “club” sandwich belongs to the “vegetarian club,” which is not where my loyalties lie.
On this visit, we went through the drive-thru, and I got in the back seat to get Evan started on his lunch before I ate mine. So, by the time I took a bite out of my BLT (Bread, Lettuce, Tomato) sandwich, we were too far down the road to turn back. I did put ham on it once we got home and enjoyed it anyway. I still have hope that one day, our fast food visit will add a check mark to the “Pigs Must Be Flying, Because My Order is Right, List.”
October 22nd, 2007 at 4:04 pm
You’re funny, Babe. You just make me laugh.
October 22nd, 2007 at 6:44 pm
I know the place and I know the sandwich and I know why that happened… although I have never actually tried one of those before. I don’t think will now either. That is a terrible let down and as a Canadian, I want to apologize on behalf of my nation, my province and if I am not mistaken, my town also. It is true that we are lacking in the Fast Food area. We don’t have Sonics up here, neither do we have ChikFilet. I have to say thought that the restaurant I miss the most is Red Robins. They have the best burger I ever eaten by far. I want to fly south just to get another burger but I don’t think it is economical. If we ever get Red Robins in Alberta then I would say that we have arrived and that there is no reason to live elsewhere.
Until then, I here that there is a new Sonic close to the camp in Idaho and I think that a Sonic run is in order at some point, escpecially with the exchange rate the way it is.
October 22nd, 2007 at 9:22 pm
@arc:
I’m with you on the Sonic run thing.
October 23rd, 2007 at 4:55 pm
Okay, this is the funniest and most annoying story I have ever heard!???
I HATE it when they mess your order up, and to top it all off you are pregnant…for me it would be over, like blood shed or something like that! Maybe not by me, but my husband knows how someone else is in there saying food NOW, so it would have been a life or death situation. Can you relate?? I will keep you in my prayers from now on!
October 23rd, 2007 at 4:57 pm
I’ve been thinking about all this and maybe it happened because you asked for mayo!? Yes!? ALWAYS ask for mustard!
October 23rd, 2007 at 6:02 pm
Here’s something that will gross Joe out. When I was a little kid I ate lettuce and tomato sandwiches WILLINGLY. Vegetarian. With…..are you ready? MAYO!
October 23rd, 2007 at 6:50 pm
Suzanne, I send my condolences, what a disgrace. This is totally unacceptable. As for Joe, he is so blessed to be in Canada where they put MaYo on sandwiches, burgers and the like, blessed, blessed, blessed. I envy you bro.
October 23rd, 2007 at 7:06 pm
Oh Wendy! You blew it!
October 23rd, 2007 at 7:14 pm
This may be the saddest blog entry I’ve read in the past five minutes. I am so sorry. I will drink a Route 44 cherry limeade in honor of you.
October 23rd, 2007 at 7:38 pm
Nana was enlightened at one time, but all GOOD things seem to come to an end and her enlightenment certainly did when she started eating mustard on sandwiches. YUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Now that’s really gross. Miracle Whip forever!!!! I probably would have lost control and gone back for the meat.
Papa
October 23rd, 2007 at 7:47 pm
suz,
i can’t believe you willingly went to a country that doesn’t have either sonic or chick-fil-a! joe didn’t tell you that until you got there, huh?
come back to TEXAS!
miss you more than a new chick-fil-a MILKSHAKE!
October 23rd, 2007 at 9:37 pm
i think it is hilarious that you got so many comments on this post.
October 23rd, 2007 at 9:38 pm
ARC
i am pretty sure there’s a red robins up here, not far from where i am.
October 24th, 2007 at 4:01 am
this made me laugh out loud!!! which was tricky cause it’s early in the morn and kate is still asleep! anyhow, i’m with jeremy and papa…LONG LIVE MAYO/MIRACLE WHIP (i prefer it light but you get the idea)!!!
October 24th, 2007 at 4:01 am
oh yeah and red robin’s are delicious!!! espcially the turkey burger! mmm!
October 25th, 2007 at 11:06 am
Hooray for Bob — he likes Miracle Whip! Oh, the many, many discussions we have had with Joe regarding the superiority of Miracle Whip. Bob, where did you go wrong?
I think I will go to Sonic soon and get a large diet cherry coke. And they better not forget the cherries!
mamarap
October 30th, 2007 at 11:17 am
@Jeremy:
Regarding the default condiment on sandwiches and burgers, it still varies from place to place up here. Some serve mayo, some mustard. But, it’s very unlikely that any would serve Miracle Whip. It seems that the most successful restaurants use mustard.
Okay, to clear a few things up…Suzanne hadn’t asked for mayo on her sandwich. She had asked for it to be “dry.” She doesn’t even like mayonnaise. She prefers Miracle Whip. She feels that, with Miracle Whip, she has some basis, though small, to argue for its goodness from Scripture (It’s a straw man argument, though, because it definitely cannot be compared to the Lord’s miracles, and arguing it is clearly an attempt to ascribe God’s goodness to man’s sinful works!). I’m sure she’ll realize the vanity of her arguments and repent soon.
So, I’m finally chiming in on this mustard vs. mayonnaise vs. Miracle Whip debate. I have not gotten in the middle of the battle on the blog yet, and I won’t now. I’ll just say this. They all have their strengths:
Grossness: Miracle Whip and mayonnaise both score high in this category, but mayonnaise takes the cake. Miracle Whip might just be icing on that cake, though. Gross! Mustard scores low in this category, as it is so good and yummy.
Taste: Mustard is the clear winner here, a fact which needs no explanation. Everyone will no doubt willingly concede.
Preservation: Mustard is the only one of the three that doesn’t go bad within a few months. I thank my Health & Nutrition professor for that fact. NOTE: I’ve expressed this fact to a number of MW and mayo fanatics, but, of course, they reject this idea without even the slightest consideration of actual fact. Feeling is the ruling factor here. You can see more on condiment expiration on the Table of Condiments.
Biblical Analogy: Clearly, mayo is never referred to in the Bible (2 points). Miracle Whip is never referred to, but the word “miracle” is in the Bible between 28-42 times depending on the translation (see comments in my first paragraph on using this as an argument) (5 points). Mustard itself is never referred to, but mustard seeds are mentioned 5 times and is used as an analogy to the kingdom of heaven (Mt. 13:31; Mk. 4:31; Lk. 13:19) and to faith that can move a mountain (Mt. 17:20) or uproot and replant a mulberry tree (Lk. 17:6) (10 points). John never mentioned mustard, which leads me to believe that he never had the great privilege to experience its goodness.
Naturalness: Mustard is from the mustard seed, water, and vinegar (natural and yummy). Mayonnaise is from vegetable oil, pasteurized egg yolks, and seasoning (natural, but not a natural combination). Miracle Whip is similar to mayo, but has sugar and vinegar as well (yuck).
Health: Mustard has many health benefits. It “has digestive, laxative, antiseptic, and circulative stimulant properties” (Mustard and Health. Most of what I can find on the healthiness of mayonnaise gives healthy substitutes for it (hmm…). Miracle Whip has much less fat than mayo, but still not good for you.
For those who have honestly considered this debate, you can read more about the winning condiment in The Incredible Secrets of Mustard: The Quintessential Guide to the History, Lore, Varieties, and Benefits.
October 30th, 2007 at 5:10 pm
Suzanne, you just crack me up! Your blog posts are the best! I am so sorry about your sandwich mix-up. Ty brought up a good point - maybe they left out the meat since meat has moisture in it and you ordered your sandwich “dry”
Who knows what their thought process was!
Joe - I have never seen someone display so much passion for mustard! I am very glad that you recognize that there is indeed a difference between Miracle Whip and mayo. Miracle Whip is NOT mayo. If it was, they would call it mayo and not Miracle Whip. This is a common misconception. According to Wikipedia.org and the label on every jar, Miracle Whip is “a salad dressing and sandwich spread”. I love mayo and mustard, but I detest Miracle Whip! Miracle Whip has a distinct sweetness that overwhelms anything it touches. I think it’s a “miracle” than anyone can eat the stuff! Hellmann’s brand mayo is by far the best, but that is just my opinion. It seems that for the most part Texas don’t like mayo. Is this true, or am I mistaken?
Mustard is much better for you than mayo in terms of fat content; however Hellmann’s mayo is rich in Omega 3 which is very beneficial. Well, that’s my justification for eating it
How do you feel about Dijon mustard? I do love a mixture of dijon and mayo myself! Maybe I should try dijonnaise??
November 3rd, 2007 at 2:59 pm
My! I see Joe had wayyy too much time on his hands while Suz was here.
November 12th, 2007 at 10:10 pm
mustard= GOOD
kim
mayonaise (and any derivative thereof)= GROSS
November 14th, 2007 at 8:03 pm
A quick little check of your website and I find myself quagmired in a “miraclemayomustard” debate. Good fun. Looking forward to baby day!